


Trophy

by flootiger



Category: Tokio Hotel
Genre: First Time, Fluff, M/M, Smut, Twincest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-06
Updated: 2015-05-06
Packaged: 2018-03-29 07:34:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3887689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flootiger/pseuds/flootiger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom thinks he needs to win Bill's affection again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Hayley Em and Ronda, always keepin' it twinny :) 
> 
> This started out as a tiny little 1000 word oneshot but it ran away with me....

“Andy’s coming soon.”   
  
“Huh?” Tom looks up from his vigil at the recording decks and frowns at his twin. He hadn’t even heard him enter the little studio, preoccupied as he was with trying to tweak the bridge of  _Covered In Gold_. It’s one of his favourites. Bill’s voice has matured with age and practice and his vocal range is now incredible. Secretly, he’d made Bill record it more times than was necessary, allowing himself to indulge in the way the raw sound of Bill’s singing sent shivers down to his toes.   
  
“Andy...?” Bill raises both eyebrows, waiting for something to register with Tom. One hand is on his hip and he looks a bit haughty, Tom notices.   
  
“Tom, if you’ve—”  
  
“Right, right,” Tom shakes his head. “Andy is coming over.”   
  
“So...?” Bill waves his other hand expressively and Tom blinks up at him. There is something he’s not getting, something... important? Urgent?   
  
“You want me to walk the dogs?”   
  
Bill rolls his eyes. “No, idiot, I want you to be up in the house when he arrives.”   
  
Tom snorts. “Bill, he doesn’t need a formal greeting. Just send him down here.”   
  
Bill looks at him and Tom can tell that he’s biting his tongue. “Fine.”   
  
He turns away, moving to the door but Tom realises Bill is annoyed with him and he doesn’t want that. Although not certain of the root of Bill’s chagrin, Tom wants to appease him. It’s always been this way, they fight a lot, often viciously and violently, but both twins are quick to make up.   
  
“Bill, wait.” He stands, reaching out for his twin.   
  
He’s pleased when Bill halts and then turns beneath the doorframe with a half smile.   
  
“I’m sorry,” Tom says as he reaches Bill, pulling him into a soft embrace. “I know I’ve been a bit crazy lately, since you know, we decided to redo the whole fucking thing.”   
  
Bill lets out a short laugh.   
  
“It’s okay,” he into Tom’s shoulder. “I get it, I love making music with you. You know... it’s just...” Bill sighs and Tom squeezes him gently. “Sometimes I miss you, is all.”   
  
Tom is startled by the admission and he pulls away to look at Bill. “I’m right here, I always am.”   
  
Bill smiles but Tom frowns when he notices it doesn’t quite reach his brother’s eyes. “I know you are.”   
  
“Bill...” Tom’s gaze is searching, trying to work out what made his brother say he misses him. They’re together 24/7, there isn’t any room to miss each other.   
  
“You know how it is, sometimes—”  
  
Above them, a buzzing sound crackles into the house and Bill grins, suddenly radiant again. Immediately, he is out of Tom’s loose embrace and bounding up the stairs with a jubilant  _whoop_.  
  
“Andy’s here!” He yells and Tom hears the unlatching of their front door and two identical squeals.   
  
He blinks and hops up the stairs to greet their best friend, sending one last glance over his shoulder at the unfinished project.   
  


~~~~

  
  
The three of them are lounging on the sofa, a cool beer in each of their grips and the TV on in the background. It’s sunset now and the room is filled with a warm, orange glow that lights up Bill’s blond hair so it burns like a flame. Tom is feeling relaxed, happy to see his friend again and catch up on gossip from Germany.   
  
“Bill tells me you’ve been stuck in the studio all hours of the day and night,” Andy turns to Tom.   
  
The comment is light but Tom rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, only too aware of the conversation he and Bill had had earlier. Almost had, he supposes.   
  
“Have I?” Tom flicks a glance at Bill who is too busy grinning adoringly at Andy to notice. Tom frowns, wondering when the last time Bill had shown him that much attention was.   
  
“It’s great to have a good thing going,” Tom says to Andy, although he’s looking at Bill as he says it. “I love being back with the music.”   
  
Bill nods enthusiastically. “Me too. Andy, you should hear some of the new stuff. I sound so good,” he wiggles a little against the sofa cushions and Tom snickers.   
  
Bill looks mildly sheepish and hastily amends, “I mean, the others are great, too. And Tom has been working so hard to make it perfect.”   
  
Tom ducks his head as Bill catches his eye and bestows a smile even brighter than the one he’d directed at Andreas a moment ago.   
  
“We’re all working hard,” he says.   
  
“Aw, don’t go all bashful on me, Kaulitz,” Andy shoves him playfully. “I’ve never known either of you to play modest.”   
  
“Well,” Tom grins. He leans back and knocks back a gulp of beer. “We’ve talked about changing the name of the band to  _Tom and the Band_.”   
  
Andy laughs and Bill snorts, reaching a long leg over Andy to kick Tom’s foot. Tom’s smile grows wider under all the attention he is receiving from his twin.   
  
“So, what are we doing tonight?” Andreas asks.   
  
“We could go out?”   
  
Andy pulls a face just as Tom pulls the same.   
  
“Too tired?” Bill whines.   
  
“Jetlag,” Andy shrugs and sips his beer.   
  
“I don’t know what your excuse it,” Bill eyes Tom suspiciously and Tom shrugs, too.  
  
Truthfully, he isn’t keen on the idea of hitting the town, it’s a Friday night and Fridays in LA are the wrong side of crazy. Tom is happy to sit in and chill with Andy, perhaps even adjust a few bars of  _Covered In Gold..._    
  
“Babies,” Bill pouts. Then he perks. “We can play Mario Kart.”   
  
“That’s so old,” Tom groans.   
  
“Mario Kart never gets old.”   
  
Andy snorts derisively and says to Bill with a smirk. “He only doesn’t want to play because he knows he’ll lose to me.”   
  
Bill laughs and rolls his eyes. “Oh yeah, I forgot you’re the supreme champion of Mario Kart.”   
  
Andy flexes his free arm, “Yep.”   
  
Tom hefts himself up, not even bothering to ask the other two to set up the game. Bill won’t and Andy will feign exhaustion from the flight. Tom doesn’t mind though, happy to continue listening to Bill and Andy’s high-speed chatter.   
  
“What are we playing for?” Tom says as he hands Andreas a console and dumps himself back on the sofa, next to Bill this time.  
  
“Glory!” Bill declares, resting an arm around each of their shoulders and tucking his legs beneath himself.   
  
“Glory!” Andy parrots and selects the track.   
  
But Tom is playing for something else entirely. Tom is playing for Bill’s affection.   
  
Four rounds later and Bill is wheedling for a turn of his own, poking at Tom and Andy in a cruel attempt to derail them both. Tom laughs as Bill’s fingers dig into his sides and curls his arms away from his twin.   
  
“Yes!” Andy leaps from the sofa, hollering his victory and then flumps back down against the couch. “I win! Three out of five!”   
  
Tom groans and throws the controller to the carpet, sinking back against the cushions in defeat. He’s grinning though... until he notices Bill has scooted away from him to shower Andy with praise.   
  
Tom knows it’s just because they haven’t seen Andy in so long but he can’t help the pang of jealousy that makes his beer taste bitter as Bill wraps both arms around Andy and they cheer at his victory.   
  


~~~~

  
  
Tom’s had a lot of time to think about what Bill had confessed a few days earlier.   
  
 _Sometimes I miss you, is all._  
  
Andreas left earlier that morning and Bill has been lounging by the pool ever since, smothering Pumba with love every time he snuffles into his fingers looking for some attention. Tom can see them now. Bill is sitting up in his lounger, his Kimono slipping down one shoulder and he is dropping tiny kisses all over Pumba’s wet nose and rubbing behind his loppy ears.   
  
Tom frowns, wondering when Bill’s pup started getting more attention than Bill’s twin.   
  
Then shakes his head and immediately rolls his eyes at his own childishness. He’s being ridiculous. It does make him wonder though... is this what Bill had meant when he’s said he missed Tom? Tom misses Bill now, there is something tugging low in his belly that Tom can’t quite place, but he kind of enjoys it, kind of resents it.   
  
Bill laughs, pulling away as Pumba attacks his face with slobbery licks.   
  
“No, Pumbi, no!”   
  
But a moment later he has stooped down again to wrap his arms around his pooch lovingly.   
  
A wet nose bumps against Tom’s slack hand and he looks down to see Jet gazing up at him. Smiling, he crouches, kissing Jet’s head before he rises again.   
  
“Shall we go for a run?” Tom asks his pup.   
  
Jet barks in response and Tom smiles. He could do with clearing his head.   
  


~~~~

  
  
It’s almost four in the morning and he and Bill have been messing around in the studio for the better part of the night. Bill is humming an offbeat tune that Tom can’t quite place and had he been trying to focus on work properly, he might have been annoyed. He’s not though, Bill’s hums are making him feel warm and sleepy and fond of his brother.   
  
Tom wants to reach out to Bill, to tell him he missed him too, only he hadn’t realised it until Bill himself had vocalised his upset. The words won’t come. Though Tom isn’t sure if that is because he is content with sitting here making music with Bill, or he doesn’t quite know what to say. Bill has always been better at articulating his feelings.   
  
“It was so nice to see Andy again,” Bill says.  
  
Tom looks round from his chair and sees Bill is smiling to himself, rolling his bottle of beer between both his hands. He looks happy, Tom thinks, and it makes him smile, too. All he’s ever wanted is for Bill to be happy and perhaps he had been beginning to lose sight of that. Perhaps he’s become too obsessed with the new album and Bill has been feeling neglected.   
  
Tom loves the music, they both do, they live for it. But they’ve always promised each other that being in the band comes second, and being a twin comes first.   
  
“Don’t you think?” Bill looks up at Tom.   
  
“Yeah,” Tom agrees.   
  
“Come over here.” Bill motions for Tom to sit beside him on the sofa. “We’re done working for tonight.”   
  
Tom does as Bill bids, snatching his half full beer from the desk before he deposits himself beside his brother. He is infinitely pleased when Bill curls up against his side, wrapping both arms around Tom’s and resting his head against his shoulder, Bill’s own beer forgotten on the floor.   
  
It’s familiar, but truthfully, Tom can’t remember the last time they did this. He doesn’t like that thought.   
  
“Bill...” He starts. He isn’t sure what he’s going to say.   
  
“Mm?” Bill’s voice is sleepy.   
  
“Nothing, just... this is nice.” Tom feels a bit awkward. Is he being pathetic?   
  
Bill doesn’t seem to think so, for he sits up slightly, still clinging on to Tom’s arm and smiles. It’s such a bright smile that Tom doesn’t know what to do other than try not to blink for fear his beautiful twin will disappear. Bill is so warm against him now, Tom can feel his whole body pressing against his own in a comforting hold. They’re very close.   
  
For a moment, Bill’s smile glows even brighter and then he leans in, kissing Tom gently on the cheek. Soft lips linger for a second and then Bill pulls away, blinking dozily at his brother. Tom blinks back, somewhat surprised, but pleased. There is a fluttering in his belly that hasn’t been around for a long time. It used to happen when Bill had started dressing up, donning enough make-up so he looked that much  _prettier_  than Tom did. Sometimes, it had happened when Bill’s tiny t-shirts would ride up as he bounced to the rhythm of their own songs on stage, the fans going wild but Tom’s butterflies going even wilder. Once, Bill had brought a guy back to their tourbus and despite his best efforts to keep quiet, little had been left to Tom’s imagination. His belly had gone crazy at Bill’s little moans and he’d tried to ignore how jealous he had felt of the stranger. LA had brought them both a much calmer rhythm to life and it seemed Tom had grown out of his confused crush.   
  
Apparently not.   
  
“Tomi,” Bill says, half smiling as he takes Tom’s beer and tips the content past his lips. Tom watches as Bill’s throat bobs with each swallow. It’s unnerving; the way Bill can make everything around them stop. Nothing really matters to Tom apart from Bill, not really.   
  
When Bill passes the bottle back to Tom, Tom downs the remaining dregs. Bill is leaning in close again, his nose brushing Tom’s cheek and his fluffy hair tickling Tom’s neck which makes him both calm and jittery at the same time.   
  
“Tomi,” Bill murmurs again.   
  
Tom tilts his head to see Bill looking up at him with hooded eyes. He leans in—  
  
“Aww, Pumba!” Bill squawks as something snuffles between them and tries clambering onto the sofa.   
  
Tom huffs, sitting back and wishing he had another beer at hand. He isn’t sure what was about to happen, but he is sure he is annoyed that Pumba interrupted them. As adorable as he is, Bill is more so.   
  
“Pumbi, you surprised me,” Bill coos. “Were you feeling abandoned? Aw, puppy.”   
  
Bill’s face is buried in Pumba’s nose but Tom notices with a slight thrill that his ears are very pink. He adjusts himself, feeling proud.   
  
“I’m going to take him to bed,” Bill announces as he stands.   
  
Tom immediately feels bereft, the warm space beside him now unoccupied.   
  
“What?”   
  
Bill doesn’t look at him. “You should to,” Bill continues, reaching down to chivvy his pup out the studio.   
  
The studio is silent and Tom feels put out. Had Pumba just stolen Bill from him again?   
  


~~~~

  
  
The hallway light is out but there is a low glow pooling onto the wooden floorboards from under Bill’s door. It’s shut, but that has never stopped either twin, there is no such thing as privacy between them.   
  
Gingerly, Tom pushes the door open, not wanting to wake his brother if he is asleep.   
  
Pumba is dozing on the bed, beside a tousle haired and almost naked Bill. Tom swallows.   
  
The bedside light is on - the source of the low glow - and the curtains are pulled shut, blocking out any moonlight that might filter through. It’s warm, it’s always warm in LA which is part of its appeal. Bill is such a sunshine baby, spending hours lazing around in the heat and soaking up rays until he falls asleep, or Tom has to poke him awake worriedly with a bottle of sun-cream. Tom prefers it a little cooler, something he misses about Germany. But he would never complain, they are able to live in relative freedom out here, be themselves and spend time doing the things they missed out on as teenagers.   
  
LA has been good for Bill, and so Tom likes it here.   
  
Slowly, he sets the door shut behind him and shuffles over to the bed. Bill is asleep it seems, sprawled next to Pumba and taking up a good eighty percent of the space. Tom watches for several moments, his heart beating a little faster as Bill stirs. He doesn’t wake, only wrinkles his nose and exhales heavily.   
  
Tom wants to be close to his twin, so carefully, as quietly as he can, he switches off the bedside lamp, peels back the loose sheets and crawls in beside Bill. Pumba snorts and Tom frowns at their pup, wondering why he had to battle it out with a dog for Bill’s affection.   
  
Awkwardly, Tom manoeuvres himself close to Bill. He props himself up on one elbow and reaches out to brush an errant lock of blond from Bill’s brow. Bill opens his eyes and lifts the corner of his mouth in a sleepy smile. Tom doesn’t remove his hand.   
  
“Are you staying?” Bill asks as his eyes slip shut again.   
  
“Yes,” Tom decides as he says it.   
  
“Pumbi, move over,” Bill pats Pumba on the backside and gently coerces him to scooch to the end of his bed. “He’s so big now.”  
  
“Is there room for three of us?” Tom inquires, genuinely curious.   
  
“Of course there is.” Bill seems unconcerned as he reaches for Tom, pulling him so they are laying down together beneath the sheets. A hot breath of air puffs over Tom’s face as Bill sighs. Tom sighs too, happy to be so close to his twin. Before he can drift into slumber, he pets Pumba with a foot, silently apologising for berating him all day.   
  
“’Night, Tom,” Bill mumbles. Just as Tom is falling asleep, Bill curls close and throws an arm over Tom’s chest. Tom turns his head and presses a lingering kiss to Bill’s forehead.   
  


~~~~

  
  
Bill and Tom haven’t stopped smiling all day.   
  
Disneyland must be that fucking magical, Tom thinks.   
  
The last time they went to a theme park was for their 20th birthday and that had pretty much been the best day of their lives. Today is going for gold, Tom can’t remember when he’s seen his twin so happy and excited and it makes his heart swell. They’ve both ingested about half a ton of candy floss, which might have something to do with their hype.   
  
Suddenly, Bill ‘ _ooo_ ’s and tugs on Tom’s arm.   
  
“What? What?” Tom laughs as Bill drags him over to a stall adorned with garishly coloured, and absolute  _enormous_ , stuffed animals. Below all the virtually life-size toys is a small range of basketball hoops set about five foot back from where he and Bill have arrived.   
  
Bill is already asking the attendant how much for a go.   
  
“Five dollars for five tries,” the man says. “And if you get all five shots, you win the big prizes.” He jerks a finger above them to the outlandish stuffed wildlife.   
  
Bill turns to Tom with bright eyes. “I’m going to have a go, I want one of those thingies.”   
  
Tom chuckles. “Okay, but good luck. I’ve seen you play sport remember.”   
  
Bill rolls his eyes and turns away from Tom, handing over the money and picking up a spare basketball.   
  
He misses all five shots and Tom is unsurprised but highly amused. Bill was awful at all forms of physical exercise at school and had given up trying beyond third grade, instead feigning sickness and loping off to play dares behind the library with the other truants, which Tom had soon learned was much more entertaining than pretending to enjoy yet another game of football.   
  
“That was shit,” he tells Bill.   
  
Bill pouts but laughs along with Tom all the same.   
  
“Oh well, I tried.” He shrugs but throws a disappointed look up at the gaudy prizes. “Shame though, I kind of wanted one. We could’ve scared Gustav with it when he visits us. Maybe that pink gorilla...”   
  
“Fuck it.” Tom digs in his pocket for some loose notes and hands the stall attendant another five dollar bill. “I’ll win you that pink gorilla.” He knows how much Bill will delight in traumatising their drummer if he wins him that thing.   
  
“Ohh, Tom,” Bill coos.   
  
Tom catches his eye and grins.   
  
“Watch and learn, baby brother.”   
  
Two minutes later, Bill’s wiry arms are wrapped around the most ridiculous prize either of them have ever won, including unsexiest woman. Bill is glowing as Tom snaps a quick picture of him before stowing his phone back in his pocket.   
  
“Happy now?” He asks as they finally begin to trudge back to his car. It’s been a long but perfect day.   
  
Bill nods, struggling two steps behind Tom as they exit the gates and head towards the car park.   
  
“You didn’t have to park fucking eight miles away though.”   
  
Tom laughs at Bill as he hefts the huge gorilla higher in his arms.   
  
“I’m not carrying that thing,” Tom tells him.   
  
“I didn’t ask you to,” Bill retorts.   
  
“It was heavily implied,” Tom sniggers. “I won that thing for you, you can carry it to the car.”   
  
Bill makes an ‘aw’ sound and Tom twists his head round to catch his brother beaming at him. “You won this for me?”   
  
“’Course,” Tom replies.   
  
“Cute,” Bill says. “I thought you won it so we can traumatise Gustav.”   
  
“Well, that too.”   
  


~~~~

  
  
Tom can tell Bill is nervous, he’s not stopped shooting glances across to him all morning. Tom is no better, hovering anxiously by his twin as Natalie applies his make-up for the shoot. A part of him wants Natalie to disappear to he can be closer to Bill, but he knows he is being crazy.   
  
It’s their first music video shoot in five years and both twins are more than jittery, caught between a need to retreat to their own refuge and act up for the five or so cameras milling around them. There isn’t much choice in the matter however, as the director would be pissed if he had two errant musicians for his shoot, and Dunja would chide them for making her PR job difficult. She’d complained of this before, which Tom thought was slightly ridiculous as  _he_  felt they were every PR guy’s dream, Bill especially.   
  
Bill could probably commit high treason and their fans would still praise him for being a perfect angel.   
  
“All done,” Natalie chirps.   
  
Tom watches as Bill tilts his face at the mirror critically. He looks beautiful, Tom thinks.   
  
“Your turn,” Natalie says, waving several make-up brushes in Tom’s face.   
  
Tom jerks back, startled by the assault.   
  
“Don’t maul him, Nat,” Bill says, laughing at Tom’s affronted expression.   
  
“He needs to look as pretty as you,” Natalie wheedles, trying to dab at Tom’s face with some foundation.   
  
“Here, let me do it, I’ll make him look like a Queen.” Bill rises from his make-up stool and snatches Natalie’s tools from her hands.   
  
“Don’t I get a say?” Tom wants to know.   
  
“Tom,” Bill pouts. “You didn’t think you could get away with wearing no make-up for a video shoot, did you?”   
  
“Well I was hoping...” Tom grumbles, realising he’s been stupid.   
  
Bill stands close and Tom can feel his warmth as he steadies himself with one hand gripping Tom’s upper arm while the other delicately strokes across Tom’s temple with a soft brush. Inspecting his work, Bill leans in closer and Tom studies his face as a puff of breath touches his lips. Quickly, he averts his gaze, not quite trusting himself to be this close to his twin and  _not_  try something. Even if it is just bumping his nose against Bill’s. It would be nothing, just a flash, innocent even, but Tom knows it would be caught on camera and then broadcast to the entire world via YouTube. Privacy is something he’d learnt to cherish long ago and being in front of a camera for so much of their lives taught Tom that there is behaving naturally and there is behaving appropriately. Growing up beside Bill had made not made it easy to embody the latter.   
  
Ever since that moment in the studio months ago, something has been shifting between them. Tom doesn’t fully understand it, but he’s found himself unable to question it too deeply because Bill has been showering him with just as much love and affection as he usually shows Pumba. Tom is not about to jeopardise something he has been vying for his entire life. He smiles at Bill, who returns it fondly.   
  
Without warning, a camera is shoved close to their faces and Tom side-eyes it, somewhat incensed. Instantly, Bill is standing taller, eyes brighter, but his hand is no longer holding onto Tom’s arm.   
  
He starts chattering about doing Tom’s make-up for him and Tom joins in easily, laughing and throwing around banter for the camera, teasing Bill in the same way Bill is teasing Tom. Imperceptible as it will be to the cameraman, Tom finds it hard to conjure his usual bravado and he knows his eyes keep drifting over to Bill far too often. He wishes Bill would match his gaze more frequently, but just as the camera pulls away, Bill meets his eye warmly and they share a small smile.   
  


~~~~

  
  
The  _Run Run Run_  shot goes smoothly. It’s a simple set, low lights to match the melancholia of the song. Tom feels a little odd playing without Georg and Gustav but it’s their own song on the album, something he and Bill worked to create just the two of them and for that reason, it’s very dear to each brother.   
  
Now Bill is curled on his side under the sheets of his bed and Tom is propped up next to him. Neither twin had said anything when Tom had followed Bill to bed and climbed in right beside him. Often, communication is silent between them and now they are both exhausted from the long day, few words having been exchanged since they bid farewell to their friends on the shoot.   
  
Only the flickering light of Bill’s mounted TV casts a glow into the room. Bill is half watching it, though Tom can see his eyes keep drooping sleepily, long lashes dusting his cheeks before they reopen slowly.   
  
“It went well today,” Tom murmurs.   
  
Bill shifts his head against his arm to look up at Tom.   
  
“Yeah?”   
  
The tone is questioning but Tom huffs out a laugh. “You know it did.”   
  
“I know,” Bill assents. “I just like to hear you say it.”   
  
“It went well today,” Tom says again, for Bill.   
  
Bill smiles.   
  
“It went perfectly.” Tom’s voice is almost a whisper and Bill’s smile grows wider.   
  
“It did, didn’t it?” Bill gazes up at Tom.   
  
One of his hands reaches up to touch Tom’s face, two fingers pressing against Tom’s lower lips and dragging them down to his chin. The trail leaves Tom’s skin burning, but he wants to feel it again. Bill is more addictive than any drug.   
  
“You seemed quiet on set,” Bill suddenly says.   
  
Tom knew he had been. He’d been having a tough time focusing on the task at hand when Bill had been looking so radiant, when Bill kept reaching over to rest a hand on his arm, or adjust his outfit, or link their fingers for a brief moment.   
  
“Was a bit weird being back on a video shoot,” Tom admits. Which is not a lie.   
  
“Did you miss Georg and Gustav?” Bill queries, rolling closer to Tom.   
  
“Yeah,” Tom nods.   
  
“Me too.”   
  
Bill’s hand wraps around Tom’s forearm and he leans over to drop the tiniest kiss on the skin.   
  
They are doing it again. Dancing this bizarre dance they’ve danced their whole lives, but never allowed themselves to finish. It thrills Tom like nothing ever has and he wonders if Bill feels the same.   
  
Did Bill still miss him? Tom has never felt closer to his twin, but he still misses him. He wants something... more.   
  
Their eyes lock and neither make any move to break the odd tension that is building between them. Tom’s heart is hammering in his chest and he feels nervous, like he’s about to jump off a cliff.   
  
It’s a split second decision, he can’t even decide why he does but in one swift movement he is leaning down.   
  
Bill blinks once before Tom presses his lips to his little brother’s in a chaste kiss.   
  
He feels like he jumped off the cliff, his whole body is humming, his mind is filled with nothing but Bill and the way his soft lips push back. It’s so tender, Tom has never kissed anyone like this in his life and he realises he never wants to kiss anyone else again. Only Bill, it’s always been Bill.   
  
The pads of Bill’s fingers slide against the back of his neck as a tattooed hand slips under the low knot of hair and holds Tom closer. Tom wants to do something with his own hands so he cards one softly through Bill’s loose tresses, pushing hair gently off his face before he cups Bill’s cheek against his palm.   
  
There is so much more Tom wants to do but he pulls back a fraction, afraid of himself, afraid he will hurt his baby brother. Their lips are barely touching now and Tom hears Bill let out a small sound. Swiping his thumb over Bill’s cheek, he pushes against his lips for a second kiss, catching Bill’s plump bottom lip between his own. The hand Bill has on the nape of Tom’s neck squeezes gently and nails scratch the skin there.   
  
This time it is Bill who breaks the kiss, shifting against the covers and opening his eyes just as Tom does the same. They are both sharing the same air, Bill’s lips are parted and his eyes are hooded as he gazes up at his brother.   
  
Tom thinks he has never looked so beautiful.   
  
“Tomi,” Bill breathes.   
  
Tom is searching his twin’s eyes, looking for something that will explain what just happened. Did Bill want that? It had felt so right, so perfect and he had not reacted unfavourably. Tom had never wanted anything more in his life. The money, the fame, the music, he would give it all up for another kiss with Bill.   
  
“Let’s go to sleep,” Bill whispers. Though his hand has still not let Tom rise more than a few centimetres above him.   
  
“Can—” Tom has to clear his throat. “Can I stay here.”   
  
Bill smiles and nods, finally letting go of Tom. With a final brush of his thumb over Bill’s cheek, Tom does the same and sits back against the headboard once more.   
  
The TV is switched off and Bill lightly tugs on Tom’s arm until they’re both horizontal. Though he can’t see him properly in the dark, Tom can feel Bill’s smile as he tucks his head in the juncture between Tom’s neck and shoulder and laces their fingers together.


	2. Chapter Two

“Don’t film me, film Bill’s ass.”   
  
Tom snorts as Georg nods in the direction of his twin. Bill is bending over, trying to untie a complex knot on his boots. For a moment, Tom admires the view and then turns back to Georg and the camera.   
  
“No don’t film my ass!”   
  
“I want your ass.” Georg continues.   
  
Tom and Gustav guffaw and Bill pokes his tongue out at the three of them as he rises, boots still tied in an impossible tangle.   
  
“I mean in the picture,” Georg quickly amends and Tom sees him shoot a smirk at the camera before returning to laugh at Bill who is once again struggling with his ridiculous boots.   
  
Mercifully, the camera doesn’t film Bill’s ass and is switched off a moment later. Tom doesn’t want the whole world ogling his twin. He realises this is illogical, Bill has been shaking and shimmying on and off stage for the better part of two decades. But something inside him feels more possessive somehow. He’s a little unsure of where they stand but he knows he wishes he could stake his claim there and then.   
  
Bill would definitely deck him if he tried that.   
  
Gustav has halted the dodgy DIY project he has been working on for the entirety of their tour prep and is now with Bill.   
  
“I can’t undo them,” Bill whines, waving exasperated hands down at his feet. “I’ll be stuck in them forever.”   
  
“It’s okay,” Gustav says and crouches at Bill’s feet, deft fingers unravelling the knots.   
  
Tom frowns and crosses his arms over his chest. A familiar feeling is settling in the pit of Tom’s stomach and he bites his lip to prevent himself from outright growling at the drummer. When Gustav is done he pats Bill’s calf and stands.   
  
“My hero,” Bill says and kicks the boots off happily, sending them flying over to the red sofas in the corner of the room.   
  
“No problem,” Gustav says gruffly.   
  
Tom scowls at the drummer.   
  
Georg coughs and Tom shoots his stony gaze over to his friend. Georg is giving him an odd look and Tom immediately releases his crossed arms and laughs uncomfortably.   
  
“Bill can’t do anything for himself.”   
  
“Fuck off, Tom.”   
  
Tom can’t hear any real venom in Bill’s retort however and is relieved when Georg rolls his eyes at Bill, the strange moment he’d witnessed forgotten.   
  


~~~~

  
  
The tour crew had departed about thirty minutes ago and Gustav and Georg have decided to head to bed, which Tom knows is code for  _leave me alone I’m talking to my girlfriend/wife._    
  
Neither twin is tired, though Tom doesn’t know where Bill has hidden himself. Ever since the earlier moment with Bill’s boots and his... ass, Tom has been feeling tense. There is a nagging in the back of his mind that he needs to tell Bill something, to show Bill something.   
  
If Tom is being completely honest with himself, he wants to ask Bill something. He wants to ask Bill what they are. He wants to know where they stand. What Tom  _really_  wants to know is if Bill would punch him if he marked him as his. Tom doesn’t want to _own_  Bill, Bill is entirely his own person and nothing anyone ever tried to do could or would change that. But Tom is certainly more than intrigued by the notion that Bill just might be a bit his. The idea turns him on a little.   
  
 _Thump_.   
  
He lands a heavy blow on the punch bag and the chains that hold the thing up chink together loudly.   
  
 _Thump Thump Thump._  
  
It feels good. He enjoys working out, it makes him feel strong and powerful. Sweat has formed on his back and is dripping down his spine in a ‘v’. It’s been twenty minutes since he began attacking the thing, needing to vent whatever frustration he’s pent up.   
  
Something heavy scrapes against the concrete floor and he looks up, the punch bag swinging idly as he drops his fists.   
  
Bill is perched on one of the countless black boxes, his legs dangling over the edge and a dopey expression on his face.   
  
“What?” Tom grins at his twin.   
  
“Nothing,” Bill shrugs. “Just watching you work out.”   
  
Tom laughs and punches the bag twice. “Like what you see?”   
  
Bill hums and Tom nearly chokes when he sees Bill’s tongue run over his upper teeth before he bites his lower lip and pins Tom with a predatory stare.   
  
Tom has never felt so naked, and he’s still dressed in a pair of workout shorts and a tank top. He can only stare back, his hands still raised as a maelstrom of butterflies erupts in his belly. Bill looks so fucking good, perched up on one of their storage units. He’s wearing a soft cream sweater that hangs loosely on his shoulders, tight denim jeans cover his legs and he is barefoot. Tom can tell he’d showered earlier because his hair is soft and fluffy, free of product or sweat. Tom doesn’t know what to do with himself.   
  
But  _God_  he wants Bill.   
  
It takes him several moments to realise that he is actually really fucking good at this and his fists unfurl as they drop to his sides. Tom has spent the better part of his life honing his skills as Germany’s smoothest talking lay and he  _knows_  he’s fucking good at it. Bill is different though, Bill is better than the rest of his previous conquests put together and he knows this is what is making him anxious. Shaking his head resolutely he eyes Bill. In four short strides he is right in front of his twin, nudging open his brother’s legs so he can stand between them. Bill gasps as Tom fixes him with a predatory smirk of his own.   
  
“Are you—?”  
  
But Tom cuts him off with a kiss. It’s not sweet or tender like so many they’ve shared but hot and desperate. Other than the odd make-out session in the back of Tom’s car (which had been a total teenage fantasy come true), they haven’t explored each other all that much. This... thing, whatever it is, is new and scary and precious. Tom doesn’t want to fuck it up.   
  
But this time there is a fierce urgency behind the way Bill kisses him back. Both of his twin’s hands wind behind Tom’s neck as Tom bows Bill backwards slightly, deepening the kiss and moaning when Bill opens his mouth.   
  
“Oh, Tom, Tom,” Bill is trying to say between heated kisses.   
  
One of Tom’s arms wraps around Bill’s waist and he jerks Bill closer, wanting to feel him against his body. Bill lets out a guttural moan and arches his back as one of Tom’s hands pushes his jumper up his back, running a flat palm over Bill’s smooth skin. It’s the sounds Bill makes that turn Tom on, the way he is so receptive, so vocal.  
  
“Shh,” Tom says against his lips, suddenly paranoid.   
  
“No one is here,” Bill replies, running one hand over Tom’s forehead to smooth back the sweaty locks that had escaped during his workout.   
  
“Georg and Gustav could hear us.” Tom throws a worried glance over Bill’s shoulder. They’re in an open space, nothing but a few black cases hiding them from plain sight.   
  
“Doesn’t that make it more exciting?”   
  
Tom huffs out a low laugh. “I don’t know how much more exciting this can get. I’m making out with my own brother.”   
  
Bill swats him.   
  
Tom feigns offense then kisses him and mumbles. “Fuck it.”   
  
Without giving him warning, he pulls Bill from his perch, ignoring Bill’s indignant squeak. His protest is short lived however, as Tom shuts up him with a brief kiss before grabbing his hands and guiding them both further into the maze of storage boxes, these ones much taller.   
  
“Ohh,” Bill exhales. “I feel like we’re in a den.”   
  
Tom smiles at his twin and gently turns him until his back is pressed to the wall of a black box and then Tom is crowding in close. Tom likes this feeling, like he’s taking Bill to new and exciting places. If there is a time to question what they are, this is not it.   
  
“Live every second,” he whispers.   
  
Bill’s eyes light up. “That’s so old.”   
  
Tom nods. Slowly, he takes each of Bill’s hands in his own and slides them up the dark wood of the box he’s pushed Bill against. He has his twin pinned but Bill doesn’t look scared, he looks alive. The rush Tom has been feeling ever since he spotted Bill watching him is reflected in Bill’s expression and Tom can’t get enough of it.   
  
“We wrote it together, remember?”  
  
Bill wrinkles his nose as he beams at Tom and noses closer. “Of course I remember, idiot.”   
  
There is no space between them now, Tom is flush against Bill’s body and Bill is arching into his touch, his belly pressing against Tom’s but his arms unable to follow as Tom still has them pinned above them.   
  
Then Tom is kissing Bill like he’s never kissed anyone, the fire in his belly roaring as his twin lets out another wanton moan. Bill is so eager and it’s driving Tom crazy. He’s never wanted anyone like he wants Bill and it is simultaneously terrifying and exhilarating. Perhaps this drives the passion behind Tom’s kisses. They kiss again and again, until Bill makes a pleading sound and Tom forces his mouth open so their tongues can meet. It’s wet, hot and heavy and Tom already feels like he’s about to explode.   
  
Without thinking he shoves a leg between Bill’s, spreading them.   
  
“Tomi,” Bill is panting. “Let me touch you, I want to touch you.”   
  
Tom doesn’t release Bill’s hands immediately but he nods.   
  
“You can,” he assures Bill. “But not yet.”   
  
Bill nods.   
  
Then Tom is sliding down Bill’s body, dropping little kisses on the exposed skin of his shoulders, pushing his top up so he can lick and kiss the skin there, too. The noises that tumble from Bill’s lips are sin, soft and needy. Tom raises his eyes to look at his twin, head thrown back against the wood and his eyes closed. Although Tom has relinquished his hold of his twin, Bill’s arms are still held above his head, though they are slipping now. Tom is sure Bill is the best he’s ever going to have, he is painfully sexy and it’s killing Tom. He shakes his head.   
  
Rough lips press into Bill’s belly, dotting around his belly button. Beneath the kisses, Tom can feel Bill quivering and he smiles as he realises Bill is as turned on as he is. When Tom reaches Bill’s crotch he kisses over the clothed bulge gently and delights in the way Bill’s breathing hitches. It’s so hot, Tom had never thought that doing this with a guy could be so hot. But it’s Bill, Bill isn’t just a guy. His twin is everything, the prettiest, the hottest, the best.   
  
“Tomi...”   
  
Tom looks up as he undoes the top button of Bill’s jeans, pulling on the zipper. He smirks up at his twin.   
  
“Shh,” he assures him softly.   
  
“Oh,” Bill gasps. “Oh my god. Are you going to...?”   
  
Gently, Tom pulls at the waist band of Bill’s jeans and boxers until his brother’s dick springs free, red and already weeping for attention. It’s the same as Tom’s, maybe slightly smaller but it doesn’t matter, it’s...  
  
“Perfect,” Tom murmurs as he leans forward to press his lips against the slit.   
  
Bill’s legs begin to shake and he lets out a moan so loud Tom is certain Georg and Gustav will hear. But that’s part of the thrill, he reminds himself with a smile.   
  
One hand pushes Bill’s sweater higher, fanning his fingers out against Bill’s smooth belly while the other reaches for the base of Bill’s cock and gives it a long stroke.   
  
“Oh god,” Bill says again. “Please.”   
  
Tom knows what Bill wants. With a final kiss to the tip Tom wraps his lips around Bill and sucks him deep, opening his throat wide and swallowing.   
  
“Shit,” Bill hisses. Tom raises his eyes to see Bill gazing down at him with a faraway look in his dark eyes. “ _Shit_.”   
  
Closing his eyes, Tom bobs his head, sucking in as much as he can take and squeezing the base with his hand. He has no fucking idea what he’s doing but Bill seems to like it which only serves to turn him on more. Doing this with his twin is unbelievable, it’s the best. They are so much better like this, Tom thinks. It’s just another layer of who they are, something entirely their own, something the world can’t have. It feels amazing, his own crotch is tight and it strains against his boxers. He’s sure he’s going to explode at all the pretty noises Bill is making.   
  
“Tom, ah— _fuck_ ,” Bill can hardly get the words out and his legs are shaking, his back arching, his hands now in Tom’s hair, gripping so hard it hurts but Tom keeps going, he loves that he can make Bill feel this way. He can’t get enough of it.   
  
Suddenly, Bill tenses beneath him and he cries out. “Tom! I’m going to—”  
  
Tom doesn’t need warning, he could feel it coming before it happens and suddenly Bill is jerking and spurting warm streaks into his mouth. Without thinking, he swallows, grimacing a little, the taste is salty but not offensive. Carefully, he tucks Bill back into his boxers and does up his jeans, then stands. He is painfully hard but he wants to check on Bill.   
  
“Okay?” he asks as Bill opens his eyes.   
  
“That was the fucking best,” Bill pants. He reaches needy hands for Tom and drags him close, mashing their lips together. Tom shivers as he feels Bill’s tongue swipe the inside of his mouth before pulling back once more to look dazedly at him.   
  
“Let me touch you next time, please,” Bill’s eyes are suddenly wide and Tom has to laugh at his twin.   
  
“Bill, you don’t even have to ask.” He lowers his eyes pointedly and a rather wicked grin spreads across Bill’s face.   
  
“Oh.”   
  
“Oh?” Tom raises an eyebrow but Bill doesn’t notice, already tugging on his twin to lead him to – Tom hopes – the bedroom.   
  


~~~~

  
  
“I don’t know why they even bother with stuff like that anymore,” Georg snorts.   
  
“With what?” Bill asks distractedly.   
  
They are being shepherded down a long corridor to God knows where. Tom is walking half a step behind Bill and Gustav, and Georg is walking backwards, facing the others.   
  
“The twin stuff,” Georg elaborates. “Everyone in Germany knows how freakishly close you are.”   
  
Bill is texting and doesn’t look up but Tom grins, feeling happy. They are both content to babble on for the press about the twin bond, and the Wetten Dass ‘Twin Quiz’ had amused them. Management had marketed the fuck out of it in their early days but it’s not a topic either of them ever got bored of discussing, not really. Tom is proud to talk about Bill, and if he can’t walk hand in hand with him down the street, he sure as hell will make sure the world knows there is nothing stronger than their twin bond.   
  
“It’s sad that some people don’t have a twin,” Bill says absently, still texting.   
  
“’Some people’,” Gustav repeats wryly.   
  
Bill waves a hand dismissively. “You know what I mean.”   
  
“I don’t think it’s sad,” Georg snickers. “I like being my own man.”   
  
“Half man, you mean,” Bill retorts. “Hobbit.”   
  
Tom laughs as they step through a door being held open for them and into a wide alley. Three black care are there waiting for them and Michael is chivvying everyone into the vehicles for their next junket.   
  
Instinctively, Tom rests his hand on the small of Bill’s back as they make their way to the furthest car. Bill climbs in before him and then Tom follows, the door slamming shut behind him. Apparently they’re not waiting on anyone else for the driver immediately pulls forward and into the road. The radio is on and Tom perks when he realises it’s an old Samy Deluxe song playing.   
  
“I liked that interview,” Bill says quietly.   
  
There is no way Tom would have heard it, as the music is not quiet, but Bill has shifted close to Tom in the back seat. He turns his head to look at his little brother.   
  
“It was fun,” Tom agrees.   
  
“I liked talking about you,” Bill goes on.   
  
Tom nods.   
  
Bill tilts his head curiously at Tom. “I wonder if there is anything I don’t know about you.”   
  
“I doubt it.”   
  
“There are some things...” Bill trails off but he is smiling softly.   
  
On impulse, Tom reaches over to Bill’s side of the car and links their fingers together. Bill’s eyes flick to their clasped hands and his smiles broadens. Nervously, Tom glances to the front but the driver is focused on navigating the Berlin traffic and not paying the twins any mind.   
  
Their eyes meet again and Tom brushes his thumb over Bill’s palm. “I love you.”   
  
The corners of Bill’s eyes crinkle and then he releases Tom’s hand, reaching instead for his phone.   
  
Tom is left feeling slightly bereft and a little... rejected. Before he has too long to brew however, his phone buzzes in his pocket and he digs it out, thumbing in the passcode. There is one new text... from Bill.   
  
 _I would kiss u right now if I could_  
  
Tom’s heart speeds up and he grins bashfully at Bill before reaching over to thread their fingers together again.   
  


~~~~

  
  
Bill looks exhausted when he closes the door behind him and leans against it. Tom is relieved to see he is smiling, but he is still worried about his little brother. When Bill had first pitched his vision for the  _Feel It All_  video, Tom had been slightly concerned. They both shared the somewhat morbid fascination with the dark underworld of drugs and depravity but Bill had never given any sign he’d actually wanted to take part in the culture. The video, Tom knows, is Bill’s version of accessing the forgotten corners on earth, of getting close to the lost souls who Bill is pretending to be.   
  
It is a dark concept, but soon Tom found he was on board with what Bill was suggesting. Tom would do anything if it meant Bill could achieve his dreams. But he knows today must have been taxing and Bill looks a wreck.   
  
“How was it?” He asks, rising from the bed.   
  
“Amazing,” Bill says, propelling himself away from the door and into the hotel room. “I didn’t think I could do it.”   
  
“But you did,” Tom reminds him with a smile.   
  
“Tom,” Bill says. “It was so fucking cool, but... I don’t know, it felt a bit weird. I can’t believe some people actually live like that.” He shudders. “It’s so sad.”   
  
“I know,” Tom nods. “I’m proud of you.”   
  
Bill smiles, happy but weary. “I must look fucking disgusting.”   
  
“You don’t,” Tom assures him gently, reaching Bill and pulling him close.   
  
“I feel it,” Bill mumbles. Tom feels Bill’s lips press into his neck and he shivers slightly, amazed at how Bill makes him feel. They are learning so much about each other and it’s the most exciting thing Tom has ever done. Ever since that night between the storage boxes the twins have been exploring each other, kissing, touching, licking; Tom can’t get enough of his little brother. Bill had even let Tom put his fingers  _inside_  him, something Tom still can’t believe actually happened, and on multiple occasions. Bill had been so  _tight_. Immediately, the memory sends a thrill straight down south but Tom shakes his head minutely. Bill is shattered, tonight it not the night. Tom is going to look after Bill.   
  
Slowly, Bill pulls back from Tom, but his arms remain looped around Tom’s neck.   
  
“I had to spend all day sitting on the floor of public toilets,” Bill’s face is comical and Tom snorts.   
  
“Bet you loved that,” he teases, giving Bill’s hip a pinch.   
  
Bill scowls. “It was gross, I’ve probably caught something.”   
  
“Worth it though?” Tom questions, cocking an eyebrow.   
  
Bill’s expression turns dreamy and he nods. “So worth it, it’s going to look so awesome.”   
  
Tom takes a moment to admire Bill’s features. The make-up artists have not held back and Bill looks a mess, his eyes circled with almost as much kohl as he used to wear when they were teenagers. It elicits a warm feeling inside Tom’s belly and the urge to look after Bill is almost overwhelming. Bill looks just as pretty as he did all those years ago, Tom thinks.   
  
“What are you thinking?” Bill asks. He tilts his head quizzically and noses in close to Tom. The brush of Bill’s lips against his cheek is soft.   
  
“That you look pretty,” Tom admits, feeling slightly embarrassed.   
  
“Aw, Tomi,” Bill murmurs against Tom’s cheek. “You’re falling for me.”   
  
“Bill,” Tom complains. Bill’s lips are journeying over his nose and down to his mouth and Tom is trying very hard not to fall into this trap. He is supposed to be taking care of Bill, not the other way round.   
  
“It’s alright, Tomi,” Bill whispers. He pulls back a fraction and looks into Tom’s eyes sincerely. “I’m falling for you, too.”   
  
The words make Tom’s heart soar and he holds tightly onto his twin. Then he is kissing Bill, pushing his tongue past his brother’s lips to deepen the kiss, to show Bill how much he loves him. The sounds Bill makes when Tom kisses him are sinful and make Tom feel  _things_  all the way down to his toes. This... whatever they are doing seems so natural, like the next move in a dance. They are both just falling right into their new roles and Tom would be terrified, if it weren’t for Bill being right there with him. They just work like this, and Tom realises it was an inevitability, a necessity. He needs Bill like this and he is beginning to realise Bill feels the same way.   
  
With a wet sound, Tom breaks the kiss and tells Bill, “You must be wiped after the shoot.”  
  
Bill nods and gives a demonstrative yawn.   
  
Tom chuckles. “C’mon, I’ll look after you.”   
  
Bill purrs and leans into Tom sleepily. “You always do.”   
  
Just as Tom guides Bill to the bed they will both occupy tonight and sits him down, there is a soft knock on the door.   
  
“Who the fuck is knocking at this time?” Tom grumbles as he strides to the door and pulls it open with a huff.   
  
“Oh, hey man,” Gustav greets him. “Bill in?”   
  
“Er, yeah,” Tom steps aside to let their drummer enter and watches as Gustav walks in holding a four-pack of beer and some magazines. He shuts the door and follows.   
  
“Thought you might like some TLC after the shoot today,” Gustav says with a smile. “You did well.”   
  
Bill beams at the compliment and beckons excitedly for Gustav to come closer. Compliments from the stoic drummer are few and far between and when directed at Bill, he preens, loving the attention. It’s happened a few times and each and every time Bill glows. Tom should complain, really, Gustav has never called  _him_  beautiful.   
  
Tom watches as their friend holds up the beer and magazines and Bill claps his hands. “Ohh, Gustav, you spoil me!”   
  
Tom’s eyes narrow slightly as their friend perches on the side of the bed beside Bill and hands him the goods.   
  
“How are you feeling?” Gustav asks.   
  
“Fine,” Bill goes straight for the beer and cracks one open, humming delightedly as he sips the stuff. “Amazing, actually,” he elaborates. “I’m fucking knackered though.”   
  
“I’ll bet,” Gustav says. “Tough gig.”   
  
Bill hums in agreement and leans his head against the headboard of the bed. “Thanks,” he says, waving his hand at the beers and magazines. “I haven’t had a chance to catch up on German gossip yet.”   
  
“Well we have tomorrow off,” Gustav says. “So you can catch up all day.”   
  
Tom shifts slightly and coughs.   
  
Instantly, Bill’s eyes meet his over Gustav’s head and he grins. “Tom and I have plans for tomorrow but I won’t forget I have these.” He motions to the magazines.   
  
Tom’s stomach leaps excitedly. As far as he knows the only plans he and Bill have for the coming day are room service and poorly dubbed soap operas. He knows this is Bill’s way of stamping a huge Do Not Disturb sign up for Gustav and the others. His twin is not being unkind, but everyone knows when the twins need to spend time away from everyone, it’s best to leave them in peace. Bill will need to recuperate and Tom will make sure he does.   
  
Gustav nods. “Anything else you need?”   
  
Tom coughs again and frowns. “He’s fine, I’ve got him.”   
  
Gustav stands and turns to Tom. “Right, ‘course”   
  
Tom proffers a small smile, supposing Gustav was only being kind. Tom can’t help it though, he feels  _jealous_. He wants to be the only one to look after Bill, to nurse him and baby him until he falls asleep in his arms and wakes up tomorrow the same way.  
  
“I’ll be off then,” Gustav says, smiling at them both before departing quietly.   
  
When Tom looks back at Bill, his twin is casting him a knowing look.   
  
“What?” Tom widens his eyes in false innocence.   
  
“You chased him away,” Bill admonishes with a slight pout.  
  
“No I didn’t,” Tom protests as he falls onto the bed beside Bill.   
  
“Yes you did,” Bill counters. “But it’s okay, I wanted to make-out with you and I think Gustav would quit the band if he saw that.”   
  
Tom snorts, but manages to feel a bit guilty for scaring off the drummer. “I think you need sleep,” he says, though why he’s turning down a make-out session he isn’t entirely sure.   
  
Bill yawns and Tom remembers why.   
  
“You need to sleep,” he reiterates, reaching for the half-finished beer and magazines and setting them on the bedside table.   
  
“I know,” Bill agrees. He yawns again and slides down the headboard to curl up against the excess of pillows the hotel has provided them with. “I should shower, I probably smell like piss.”   
  
Tom wrinkles his nose but pulls Bill against him, wrapping his arm around Bill’s small shoulders and laying down with him.   
  
“Tomorrow,” he tells Bill.   
  
Bill sighs against Tom. They fit perfectly, Bill’s head against Tom’s chest and his arm thrown lazily across Tom’s abdomen. Tom watches as Bill’s head rises and falls softly with each of his own breaths. Several wayward locks of Bill’s blond hair are flopping over his closed eyes and Tom brushes them back, stroking Bill as his twin falls asleep. Gently, he places a kiss to the top of Bill’s head and whispers, “Goodnight, Bill.”   
  


~~~~

  
  
Tom has felt oddly emotional all evening. It had been their last show in Warsaw and everyone is running on very little sleep and a lot of caffeine-lent energy. The mood is jubilant, their crew and tech team knocking back drink after drink as they share stories of the past month. Georg and Gustav are cosying up with their respective partners in the corner of the hotel bar and Pumba and Jet are wandering between the legs of the many people who had made all this come together. Somehow it feels very surreal, and Tom can’t quite believe it’s over already. Being on the road is what he loves the most, but he knows there is more to come very soon so he can’t bring himself to feel too gloomy that it’s over.   
  
Slowly, he scans the room, looking for the one person he really wants to share tonight with. Tom is not tired, but he doesn’t want to hit the town, as he knows most of the crew will. No, Tom wants to find Bill and take him upstairs. They’re staying in a swanky hotel in the centre of the city, a final reward for all their hard work and Tom wants to take advantage of the limited time they have in the lap of luxury.   
  
When Tom can’t spot Bill amongst the crowd his heart picks up a little, sending him into a mild panic. Bill is never more than twenty feet away and when Tom can’t see him, he can usually hear him. But suddenly, there is a warm hand at his elbow and a hot breath against his ear.   
  
“Hey,” Bill says in a breathy voice.   
  
Tom turns with a grin and hugs his brother, so pleased to see him.   
  
“How are you feeling?” He asks when he lets go of Bill.   
  
“Amazing,” Bill says, his grin matching Tom’s own. “I can’t believe it’s over.”   
  
Tom shakes his head. “Me neither.”   
  
“I love being on stage,” Bill sighs happily and Tom’s belly swirls as his beautiful brother looks just about ready to spread some wings and fly off over a rainbow. “I’m so happy right now.”   
  
He looks it, he looks euphoric and Tom knows he is riding the same post-show high that he himself is. It never gets old, they’ve done it for so long and performed countless shows, but Tom still leaves the stage every time feeling as though he could run a thousand miles.   
  
Fleetingly, Tom grasps Bill’s hand in his own, just quick enough to get Bill to notice he wants something but not long enough to warrant any unwanted attention from their friends.   
  
“You want to get out of here?” Bill asks lowly, tilting his head and raising both eyebrows in question.   
  
Tom nods. “Only if you want to,” he says quickly. If Bill wants to paint the town then he will of course tag along, but something tells Tom Bill will be eager to retreat to their hotel room alone, for a private celebration.   
  
Things have been hotting up between them for months now and Tom has never felt happier. They are so close, closer than Tom thinks they even thought possible and it’s almost too much. Bill let’s him touch all over, kiss all over... they know how to work each other up tight like a coil, they know how to tease and torment and then let it all go in a rush of ecstasy. They know how to love each other properly now.   
  
“I want to,” Bill assures him.   
  
As Tom meets his gaze, he notices something fiery burning in Bill’s eyes, something he’s seen before but not with this much intensity. Bill has something planned and Tom’s stomach lurches pleasantly at the thought.   
  
“Now?” Tom asks, raising an eyebrow in question.   
  
“Yeah,” Bill says quietly.   
  
It takes them twenty minutes to say their thank yous and goodbyes before declaring a dual state of absolute exhaustion. Georg and Gustav hug them as they depart and then they are alone in the elevator, leaning in close but aware there will be security cameras surreptitiously observing.   
  
When they make it to the hotel room door Tom fumbles slightly with the key card, failing to unlock it twice before he successfully triggers the green light. Together, they push in, kicking the door shut behind them.   
  
“I missed you,” are Bill’s first words as he crowds close, rubbing his body against Tom’s in a desperate bid to get as close as possible.   
  
Tom chuckles and his hands go to Bill’s waist. “I’m right here.”   
  
“I know,” Bill says softly. “You are.”   
  
Tom is forced to think back to a conversation they’d had so many months ago and he wraps his arms tighter around his twin, tugging him so their bodies press together flush. He can feel the heat of Bill through his layers and he shudders, unable to comprehend how the simplest of touches can rile him up so quickly.   
  
“Do you miss me now?” he asks as he tilts his head for a kiss. “Do you really miss me?”   
  
Bill complies, pressing their lips together and opening his mouth at once. They make-out for several long moments, the heat building between their two bodies as Bill writhes and Tom struggles to control himself. It’s hard when Bill is this sexy, this ready for him.   
  
Bill breaks the kiss but still clings on to Tom, nosing at the smooth skin just along the top of Tom’s beard.   
  
“No,” he finally says. “I don’t miss you, not anymore.”   
  
Tom smiles fondly at his twin and rubs both his hands up Bill’s back, dragging with him the several layers of clothing Bill is dressed in. Obediently, Bill raises both arms so Tom can lift the clothes off and drop them to the carpet. He takes a moment to admire Bill’s body, the shadows from the dark room playing across his tattooed skin and his chest heaving with desire. It’s no wonder his twin can drive the many thousands of their fans crazy; he’s gorgeous.   
  
“Now you,” Bill instructs. Tom complies, swiftly extricating himself from his own t-shirt and hoodie before reaching forward for Bill once more.   
  
“I feel so gross,” Bill pulls a face as Tom leans in to attach his lips to Bill’s neck. “Ohhh, but that feels so good.”   
  
Tom sucks on the skin there, not enough to leave a mark but just enough to let Bill know he’s been there.   
  
“I want to shower,” Bill says between little gasps as Tom’s lips pepper slowly along his collar bone and his hands grip his waist tightly. “But I want this, too.”   
  
“Both?” Tom asks, barely removing his mouth from Bill’s skin. It’s so soft and Bill is so pliant under all of Tom’s gentle ministrations.   
  
“Oh,” Bill sighs. “Yes.”   
  
Together they undress and it’s not long before they’re stepping under the spray, steamy tendrils curling around them both as they kiss beneath the water. The almost scalding shower and Bill’s light touches are making Tom feel light headed and he shudders when he feels Bill’s cock rub hard against his own.   
  
“Bill,” he murmurs, closing his eyes as pleasure shoots through him. “Love you.”   
  
Bill repeats the sentiment back to Tom, whispering it softly against his lips as they kiss hotly, tongues sliding together and warm lips pushing urgently against each other. Tom can’t stop his hands roaming Bill’s body, touching every bit that he can reach, pressing and massaging, scratching and stroking. It amazes him, what Bill will let him do, where he will let Tom go and – Tom thinks with another shudder – what Bill can do with his mouth.   
  
Something hot and heavy is building between them, has been for months, years and Tom feels ready to explode.   
  
Almost blindly, Tom reaches for the soap, lathering it between his fingers with the warm water. This time, when he grips Bill, his hands slide over the smooth skin, brushing over the ink-work decorating Bill’s body. Tom loves seeing Bill like this, naked and open.   
  
“Touch me,” Bill begs, kissing Tom as he grabs his hand and guides it round to his ass. “Please, Tomi. I need to feel you.”   
  
The words shoot straight to Tom’s groin and he groans. “Fucking hell.”   
  
“I want to see you,” he tells Bill as he needs handfuls of Bill’s ass, spreading the two pert globes apart and rubbing a slippery finger down the crease. Tom can feel the heat from Bill’s little hole already and knows it will be pink and glistening, twitching in anticipation.   
  
Bill nods, locking eyes with Tom. They’re half hooded, Tom notes with a pleased smirk. Whatever Tom feels for Bill, he knows Bill feels the same, knows Bill wants this as much as Tom.   
  
“Turn around,” he says, his voice rough with desire. “I want to see you all.”   
  
Bill does as he is told, bracing himself with both hands against the tiled wall of the shower.   
  
“Look at you,” Tom says softly. Bill looks so fucking edible right now, arching his back and pushing his ass out for Tom to see everything. It’s no secret that Bill is an exhibitionist, he lives for the attention, he blossoms under the spotlight, but Tom hopes to God he is the only one who will ever see Bill like this, placing himself so wantonly on display like that.   
  
“Touch me,” Bill says again. He half turns his head to catch Tom’s eye and Tom’s legs go weak.   
  
He doesn’t need to be told twice and he dots a kiss to Bill’s shoulder just as he presses a slick finger inside his brother’s body. Bill moans loudly, throwing his head back against Tom’s shoulder and thrusting his ass further back.  
  
“Fuck,” Tom mutters, curling his finger like he’s learnt Bill likes.   
  
The reaction this elicits from Bill should be banned, Tom thinks. Or, at least restricted to their bedroom and Tom’s ears only. It’s low, needy and breathless as though Tom is already about to make him come. The air is stifling them both, a heady swirl of steam and their shared breath heightening the intensity of what they are doing.  
  
“ _More_ ,” Bill commands. Tom obliges, slipping in a second digit so it fits snugly next to the first. Bill’s breath hitches and his head tilts forward, pressing his forehead into the white tiles.   
  
Tom growls and uses his spare hand to slide up Bill’s torso until his hand wraps around Bill’s throat loosely and jerks Bill’s chin back once more, exposing the long neck and causing Bill to quiver beneath him. Two of Tom’s fingers push into Bill’s mouth and immediately, Bill sucks on them, swirling his tongue over the already wet digits. It’s enough to make Tom’s cock ache.   
  
“More?” Tom asks this time.   
  
“Please... please,” Bill’s words are garbled around Tom’s fingers.   
  
“I can’t believe you let me do this,” Tom whispers huskily. The feel of Bill all around him, his fingers  _inside_  of Bill, it’s almost too much and Tom is fighting against the urge to just bend Bill over and rut against his ass until he comes.   
  
“Feels so good, Tom,” Bill hisses as Tom slips his fingers from Bill’s mouth but doesn’t let go of his neck. He likes feeling in control, he likes the way Bill bends to his touch will so willingly. It drives them both wild and Tom can’t believe it’s taken them twenty-five years to figure it out.   
  
Two fingers soon becomes three and Bill is panting into the shower, moaning Tom’s name over and over again. The way his back arches is so pretty, so sexy and Tom lovingly runs his hand all the way from Bill’s beck right down to his lower back, then stokes up, watching the water course over his hand as he forces Bill’s back to bow even more. His fingers are curling deep inside his brother now and Tom delights in the way Bill keeps constricting around the digits, crying out as Tom touches something soft and warm.   
  
“Tom... Tom,” Bill is gasping. “Fuck me.”   
  
Tom’s fingers still inside his brother and Bill lets out a whine.   
  
“What?” Tom responds in a low voice.   
  
“Fuck me,” Bill says again. “ _Please_.”   
  
Tom can hardly believe the words that have just left his twin’s lips. They sound so...  _dirty_.   
  
“Please,” Bill is trying desperately to impale himself on Tom’s fingers again, pushing his ass back unashamedly. “I need it... I need you.”   
  
“Bill...”   
  
“Don’t tell me you don’t want it,” Bill whines. “I know you do.” As though to prove his point he turns and grabs Tom’s cock, rolling the tip between his fingers before he pumps the length slowly. “I’ve wanted this ever since... ever since... well, you  _know_.”   
  
Tom nods. He does know, they’ve both wanted this since forever, even if it took them years to finally acknowledge it.   
  
“You want this, too,” Bill continues. “You want me.”   
  
Tom nods. “Fuck, course I do.”   
  
Tom’s dick throbs in Bill’s hand and his hips jerk forward involuntarily. Long fingers tug on Tom’s dick, expertly twisting at the head and squeezing gently. Without warning, Bill presses a thumb into the slit and Tom cries, jerking forward and almost collapsing on top of Bill.   
  
“Bill... fuck,” Tom pants. “I’m not going to last if you keep that up.”   
  
Bill lets go. “Come on,” he purrs, kissing Tom beneath the spray. “ _Fuck me_.” He whispers the last words right into Tom’s mouth, licking suggestively at Tom’s lips as he watches Tom through dazed eyes.   
  
Water is clinging to Bill’s eyelashes and his blond hair has been washed of all product so it hangs soft and wet around his face. Tom wants Bill like he’s never wanted anyone in his whole life. Something primal is bubbling low in his belly and his heart is racing against his ribcage, beating for Bill. Is this what they’ve been building up to? Is this the final move of their peculiar dance they’ve been doing for as long as Tom can remember?   
  
“You want this?” He asks Bill. He has to make sure.   
  
“So much,” Bill’s voice is low.   
  
“C’mon,” Tom spins the dial on the shower so the water is cut off and links his fingers with Bill’s. He swears he can feel a slight tremor in Bill’s hands as he leads him out the shower and into the hotel bedroom.   
  
Two beds are waiting for them; both made up and empty, except for some of Bill’s clothes and jewellery that have been strewn across the far one haphazardly. That one will remain unused, for Tom guides Bill to the first bed.   
  
As Tom lays Bill carefully against the pillows and climbs on top of him, he searches Bill’s gaze for any sign of uncertainty.   
  
“Are you sure about this?” He strokes Bill’s damp hair from his head.   
  
“Stop asking me,” Bill assures him with a small smile. “God, I don’t think I’ve ever wanted something more.”   
  
Tom shakes his head, unable to believe how lucky he is. “You are so fucking perfect.”   
  
Bill smiles wider, stretching lasciviously beneath Tom and opening his legs invitingly.   
  
“Kiss me,” he says and Tom does, hovering above his twin on strong forearms and sucking on Bill’s bottom lip. Gently, teasingly, he bites the plush lip and is surprised by the needy sound Bill makes beneath him. Bill is not as small as he used to be, but he is still small. Tom likes feeling bigger, more powerful, he enjoys being in control of this and he can tell Bill does, too.   
  
Unexpectedly, Bill rolls his hips up to meet Tom’s groin and arches his back off the bed. Wet hands are carding through Tom’s hair and pulling him as close as they could possibly get. Tom is burning all over, hot with desire for his naughty little twin. He can’t remember being this turned on.   
  
“Have you got... you know,” Tom pulls back to look down at his twin. “Something to make it easier.”   
  
In answer Bill wraps his legs around Tom and pushes up again. The friction of their cocks rubbing together is almost enough to send Tom tumbling over the edge but he holds back with a groan, biting his lip hard and struggling to keep himself from crushing Bill.   
  
“Front pocket of my suitcase,” Bill whispers, licking Tom’s cheek.   
  
Tom nods and pulls away. It’s cold away from the heat of Bill’s body and he shivers, hurrying to the abandoned suitcase and digging his hand into the pouch. He extracts a small bottle of lube and a condom.   
  
“No, Tom.”   
  
Tom looks up to see his twin propping himself up on both elbows and frowning at the condom in Tom’s hand.   
  
“Bill, don’t be fucking stupid,” Tom rolls his eyes. “I’m not going to hurt you.”   
  
“You won’t,” Bill assures Tom. “We’re both clean, I know you are and I got checked when we were in Hamburg.”   
  
Uncertainly, Tom stands, both lube and condom still in his clutches.  
  
Bill’s legs fall open and he directs a hooded gaze at Tom. “Don’t you want to feel it all?” Tom almost laughs at the reference but is more than distracted by the way Bill is slowly circling his own entrance with a slick finger. It’s so hot, Tom is on fire, unable to stand the heat of his perfect, willing twin.   
  
“Fuck, Bill.”   
  
Shaking his head he clambers back onto the bed, condom forgotten on the floor but lube still in hand. Batting Bill’s exploratory hand out the way he settles between his brother’s legs and nudges at them gently to open wider. Easily, Bill complies, falling back against the pillow with a low sound in his throat.   
  
“Do it,” Bill urges. “Do me.”   
  
Tom nods, but doesn’t meet his eyes. Instead he is gazing in reverence down at the opening between Bill’s legs wet from their shower and Bill’s own teasing. It’s not something Tom has ever done but  _fuck_ , does he want to now. Bill is so inviting, he smells clean and musky and looks unreal.   
  
“What?” Bill wants to know, shifting against the covers and canting his hips up ever so slightly. It’s enough for Tom. Using both hands against Bill’s thighs, Tom spreads them wider, pushing them back as he leans down and kisses right over Bill’s opening.   
  
“Oh,  _fuck me_ ,” Bill gasps.   
  
Tom flicks a glance up to see Bill is staring down at him in hazy shock. Grinning, he places another kiss to Bill’s little hole, this time flicking his tongue out to taste his twin. Bill pants and his legs jerk as though to clamp down around Tom’s head. Tom doesn’t let him though, forcing Bill’s thighs apart again with his palms. Loving his twin’s reaction, Tom licks up crease, pushing his tongue past the tight ring of muscle as he reaches it and wiggles it a little. It is another first for Tom and he has no fucking idea if he is doing this right but he figures it can’t be much different from licking a girl out. Grimacing, Tom realises he really doesn’t want to think about girls when his twin is spread so perfectly before him.   
  
At the head of the bed, Bill groans and Tom pushes his probing tongue into Bill again, before pulling back with a wet smack. There will be more time for that later, Tom wants to really see what he can do to Bill with his tongue, but right now they both have other plans.   
  
“Tomi Tomi Tomi Tomi,” Bill is babbling. “Oh my god.”   
  
“Too much?” Tom wonders, sitting back on his heels and running two fingers between Bill’s spread ass cheeks before pushing them both inside and curling them hard.   
  
“Fuck!” Bill tenses, clearly not expecting the intrusion. There is a look of total bliss that Tom never wants anyone else to see on Bill’s face, he looks fucking unbelievable, splayed out and writhing before him. His neck is long and exposed, several water droplets clinging to the skin there.   
  
With a fumbling hand, Tom uncaps the lube, squirting a generous dollop onto his hands and rubbing them together to warm them up for Bill. In a hasty motion he covers his aching cock in the slippery substance and positions himself above Bill. His twin has opened his eyes again and is looking up at Tom dozily.   
  
The moment hangs hot and heavy between them and Tom strokes the inside of Bill’s thighs reassuringly. The blunt head of Tom’s dick rubs at Bill’s entrance, slicking the area with lube.   
  
“Have you ever...?” Tom suddenly asks.   
  
“You know I have.”   
  
Tom nods, feeling stupid that he wanted to be Bill’s first time. They’re both adults, they’ve both had relationships, Tom knows this. He’s  _heard_  Bill before, thinking back to that time he’d brought a stranger back to the tour bus.   
  
“But never with anyone who means this much,” Bill takes Tom’s face in both of his hands. “Tom, this means so much.”   
  
Tom nods. “God, me too.”   
  
Bill nods.   
  
“This means everything to me,” Tom admits his voice a little choked.   
  
Bill pulls Tom close enough to kiss him and then he is urging Tom forward and Tom slides home slowly. It’s too much, Tom knows he is going to last all of five seconds before he empties his load inside his brother. The thought alone nearly sends Tom tipping off the edge and into his orgasm but Bill steadies him, holding his face between both of his hands, his mouth open in a silent gasp.   
  
“Are you okay?” Tom needs to know he hasn’t hurt Bill.   
  
Bill nods. “You feel amazing,” he says, his voice strained. “Move... fuck me.”   
  
Tom doesn’t need any further encouragement and he surges forward, pressing deep into Bill and shoving his face into Bill’s neck. There is too much of Bill, surrounding him and overwhelming him. He fucking loves this, Tom fucking loves fucking his twin.   
  
“Tom, Tom,” Bill begins to chant, rocking his hips up to meet Tom’s thrusts, which are becoming more and more urgent. Tom can’t keep his hands or his lips off Bill, touching him all over, soothing Bill’s desperate whimpers with gentles kisses to his neck, nose, lips.   
  
Bill is squeezing Tom so tight, tighter than anything he’s ever experienced and his breathy moans and the way he is gripping Tom, his hands splayed over his wet body... it’s too much, Tom can’t handle it.   
  
“Bill,” he warns. “I’m going to...”   
  
“Do it,” Bill growls, shoving his hand down to pump his own weeping cock. Then, Bill is biting down on Tom’s shoulder as he shudders, going rigid beneath him before something warm and sticky spurts between them.   
  
“Fuck,” Tom swears as he feels his own climax build and then explode. Everything around him is suspended for several long seconds as he comes inside his twin, feeling Bill constrict around him with a final moan. It’s too much, Tom thinks for the thousandth time. He feels the world go black as he collapses over Bill, still buried inside him.   
  
“Tomi,” Bill sighs. “You fucked me so good.”   
  
Tom groans at his twin’s words, unable to do much else.   
  
“Oh shit, oh shit,” Bill is still babbling away but Tom can’t muster the energy to articulate anything, still blissfully riding the high of his orgasm. “We are doing that again. We are doing that every day. Oh, I love you. That was the best,  _you_  are the best.”   
  
Tom grins into Bill’s neck and strokes up Bill’s sides as he pulls out of his twin carefully. He sits back enough to see Bill wince as he leaves his body and Tom quickly reaches down to run a soothing palm over Bill’s backside.   
  
“Are you okay?” Tom wants to know. Curiously, he dips the tip of one finger back into Bill and when he removes it he watches in awe as a trickle of his own come follows, dripping hot from Bill’s ass. Tom swallows before he focuses on Bill’s smiling face again.   
  
Bill nods his head, looking utterly sated. “Do you really have to ask?”   
  
Tom gives Bill an earnest look. “Just making sure.”   
  
“Tom,” Bill says dreamily. “I have never been more okay in my life. You just fucked my brains out and...  _fuck_ , it was so fucking hot.”   
  
Tom chuckles sleepily and rolls them both to one side, spooning up behind Bill. Immediately, Bill pushes back against his chest and joins their fingers.   
  
Bill hums happily and Tom smiles into the back of his neck, dropping an innocent kiss to the old tattoo. This is a new kind of closeness, it’s new and exciting and terrifying but Tom knows neither of them would change it for the world. Whatever has been growing between them for so long has reached its climax but Tom knows it is only the beginning.   
  
Tom no longer misses Bill, he has all of him.   
  


~~~~

  
  
The gentle breeze tumbles into Bill’s bedroom, billowing the long curtains and swirling around the unlit space. It’s night time and Tom has just said goodbye to their mother on the phone. They have returned from their tour, after much celebrating and many heartfelt goodbyes, the twins are home, back in LA where things can calm down for a bit. Tom thinks he might take Bill away somewhere before the next part of the tour begins. Perhaps they’ll go back to the Maldives.   
  
Quietly, he pulls back the curtains and steps onto the balcony, smiling when he is greeted by the tall silhouette of Bill. His twin is leaning against the railings, a cigarette in one hand and the other loosely holding his kimono around his waist.   
  
Without saying anything, Tom steps up behind Bill and wraps both arms around Bill’s waist, feeling the warmth of his twin envelope him. Everything about Bill is all consuming and tonight is no different; the soft curls of Bill’s hair and his fresh scent, the way his fingers wrap around Tom’s, drawing him even closer. The cigarette is stubbed out in a precariously balanced ashtray and Tom inhales Bill, pressing his nose into the soft skin of Bill’s neck.   
  
“What are you doing?” Bill asks with a slight laugh.   
  
“I just missed you, is all,” Tom murmurs.   
  
Lazily, Bill tilts his head and joins their lips together. Tom hums as he holds Bill close, feeling warm, sleepy and loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I loved writing this little story :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


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